What does 6 months paternity leave feel like with 2 babys?

I didn’t want to say much about this as it is not that common, especially here in South Africa. The norm here is three days and some annual leave. When I share that I’m on family responsibility leave and for how long, people usually either respond with excellent or a mild form of disgusted jealousy. I’m am truly blessed to have the privilege of paid leave for such a long time.

6 Months ago Lauren and I started a new Journey: Hosea was born on 27 September 2018. He was healthy and came into the world screaming joining his big brother Judah as a focus of our complete love and affection.

From the get-go, I realized that Judah doesn’t magically become a big boy. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this, but we now have two babies in the house. I can tell you this much. Having another baby in the house is such a big Joy, however soon after we got home, the reality set in and you realize that you and your wife each have a child to look after. I remember the days when one could say, please look after him while I do this or that, no more handing over and taking naps. All we do now is swop children. Each one makes one. The amazing thing is watching them love each other. It’s interesting that these little humans can show so much love and affection.

I can tell you that it doesn’t feel like a massive holiday. You still have a lot of work to do elsewhere. Work with looking after the Kids. Work with helping your wife recover after labor. Work with having family over. Work around the house and work on family health. Time off feels like work. Before you know it, 6 Months is over. Though I’ve had many things to focus on, I had a lot of time to think. I had a lot of time for Blogging and Journalling.

The time off felt like a dream. At times I couldn’t believe that such a perk would even exist. I admire the confidence and the good faith placed on us. There is no obligation to pay anything back should one decide to leave. There were no strange emails from HR.

Time is not a commodity it is a dried up well.

We don’t have time for each other anymore. Providing valuable time with loved ones is one of the best investments any company can make. I’m now more focused on delivering value and making sure others can continually enjoy these benefits.

If you are interested in working at a company that genuinely cares about its humans, prepare yourself to apply to Automattic.

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Confusing income potential and wealth

This is more of a mental note for myself. The connection between wealth and income is very obvious, yet we tend to think they are one and the same. I do it all the time.

Let me break it down for myself:

Income should be called by its rightful name: income potential. All employed people have some kind of potential which is promised on contract or merely estimated based on possible growth.

This promise gives us a sense of pride. We even use it to acquire things making promises to others very far into the future (debt).

This promise should not be confused with wealth. Wealth is not a promise. It is the assets we own now. The value we already have. Something we can realize today. Wealth unlike income potential is something we can inherit or build up over time.

Income potential is not guaranteed and wealth mismanaged can disappear. There are certain intangible things that can be considered wealth, the things no-one can take from you.

The sad thing is that people use income potential to acquire more. I’m not in favor of debt, but I understand why people use their potential to acquire things they can’t yet afford.

I constantly need to remind myself of this. In previously disadvantage communities income potential is often mistaken for wealth and this gives individuals a false sense of security. Wealth is not security, but is much safer than a promise.

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32 and content

Yesterday I turned 32. What an amazing time to be alive. There are so many mountains to climb and challenges to overcome. I have a sense of destiny awaiting while feeling thankful that I have opportunities to reach for things greater than where I come from.

I had no party, no event, not too many people over and it felt libarating. Having the option to choose what to do and then choosing a simple day, with loved ones. Those very close to me. This, in the form of conversations, phone calls and messages. I appreciate the day called birthday and I understand why it’s such an important day to almost every one.

I realise that health is something one takes for granted and that it is one of the biggest blessings in our lives. Without it, nothing works. I’m eternally greatful for mine.

I am a beliver and it shapes every part of my life. I’m thankful for every new year that’s added to my life. I’m so thankful for all the good gifts I have recieved and I’m eternally greaful for salvation and a walk that challenges me to grow.

I hope that this is just the beginning, I hope that my story continues further into the happily ever after. I hope that I grow in character, skill and spheres of impact. I hope to spend more days feeling content and less days thinking about what I do not have. I hope focus on who I’m becoming and not what I’m acquiring.

Plant Based

3 Months ago, my wife and I embraced a new way of eating. We’ve tried all kind of diets and eating plans but none have ever worked out for us. We wanted to see results in the way we looked and felt. We mostly wanted to shed some pounds and with that feel more confident in our clothes.

Friends of ours introduced us to a Netflix documentary called What The Health. They suggested we try out a plant-based diet or vegan as most people know it, but these two should not be confused, more on that here. Our friends were meat eaters traditionally, and so, we were seriously shocked that they would consider this an option.

I, for some time, refused to watch the documentary as I was afraid to change my diet. I had tried so many things before and wasn’t in the mood for watching what I eat all the time. With Lauren’s help and constant nudges, we eventually got around to watch it. It is an understatment to say that this put my health on a new trajectory.

From day one, we went all in. Cold turkey. We stopped buying meat and my wife started learning some new recipes. We stopped eating our favorite bacon and eggs breakfast. We stopped eating chicken and especially pork.

Bey Bey Portion Control

After the first few days, I started noticing a difference. I felt lighter. No more did I feel the heaviness that always came after a big meal. Removing meat from my diet meant that I no longer needed to worry about portion control. I could eat until I felt full and then stop.

I felt more energy. I felt positive. This even led to us starting to walk again. The biggest thing I started to see was that the scale was showing some favorable numbers. I was struggling to dip below 100kg’s, but after changing to plant-based I started noticing that my clothes started to feel more comfortable.

I am never going back. After 3 months of doing this and seeing so many positive results, I can say without a doubt, that this is my new way of life. There are rare occasions where I will still eat meat but that is only if it’s lamb.

This is easier said than done and I must admit that, if not for Lauren I would not be on this path today. If you find yourself in a similar place and are struggling in this area, I advise that you watch these 2 documentaries:

#link1 #link2

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You are on time, your own time

New York is 3 hours ahead of California, but that doesn’t make California slow.

Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before securing a good job.

Someone became a CEO at 25, and died at 50. While another became a CEO at 50, and lived to 90 years.

Someone is still single, while someone else got married. Obama retired at 55, & Trump started at 70.

Everyone in this world is on their own time zone.

People around you might seem to he ahead of you, & some might seem to be behind you. But everyone is running their own race, in their own time.

Do not envy them & do not mock them. They are in their time zone, and you are in yours Life is about waiting for the right moment to act.

So, relax. You’re not late. You’re not early. You are very much on time.